Carbon Copies

As a young person I was different. I knew it when I realized I enjoyed things, most girls did not. 

I loved skateboarding, baseball, riding my bike, two hand touch. (All time quaterback) it was the only position they would give me. I liked being outside, running around, playing. 

Dont get me wrong, I had Barbies & jump ropes. I roller skated & played jacks. I just felt it inside, that I was not average. It was not until recently that I became aware of how good that was. 

I listened to heavy metal at one point, & was obsessed with dramatic hairstyles. My clothing was mostly black, torn or shredded. It made NO difference to me that people pointed & made fun of my look. I was ALWAYS me. 

When my daughter was old enough to start making her own choice in clothing, I recognized the pattern. Same as myself, I just didnt want to "fit in", because I didnt know who I really was yet. 

She would wear odd things & listen to different music. I saw that she, also was not afraid of how others judged her. 

Knowing that her father has been 95% absent from her life caused some attitude problems. Maybe even affected her self esteem, but as with my sons, I will live the rest of my life, trying to be the rock for them. 

I had a father who was there, but was not  there, for me. Emotionally & mentally I think he was checked out. Physically he was there, 100%. So many days I had spent trying to gain his affection, his attention, his SOMETHING. I was naive, young, & did stupid things. 

I have a great relationship with him now. We have come to understand one another. His lack of emotions created a strength in me that I would not trade for anything. I care not to be a carbon copy of anyone & everyone else. I choose to remain true to myself, even if Im STILL trying to find me.  

 

Hello

How many of you remember elementry school. I do, I also remember the Indian Trailor. Yes, my mom is Ms. Tafoya. 

I thought it was weird at first, having my mom working around the school, (when it came), but I soon realized how much EVERYONE loved it. 

My mom started off in the Pittsburg Unified School District as a yard duty. We lived two blocks from Foothill Elementry, she was afternoon staff.

I attended Foothill for 6 yeats K-5 grade. I remember every last teacher. Ms. Belleci, Ms.Lee, Ms.Huckabee, Ms. Caruso, Ms. Clawson, & Mr.Rose. 

As the years passed my mom worked all over the school district. From the elementry schools (in the indian trailor), to the High School in opportunity classes. Which I also ended up in. 

From there she found a place at Liberty Union High School District, in Brentwood. 

She started there as a Campus Supervisor, at Liberty High School. After a few years, she became a classefied worker in the deans office. Where she was loved by all of her students & her co workers. She was the advisor for the Azteca club, & recognized by several officials in the district. She worked extra hours chaperoning dances, football games & events. 

My mom loved her role in the lives of her students, and they loved and, trusted her as well. ALWAYS stopping in to say hello.

On October 21, 2013 my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers Dimentia. I share this because she is only in her begining stages. She knows who we are and she can recollect YEARS back, but has trouble with short term memory. If you knew, or know her, dont be afraid to reach out to her. She lives in the same house, in Pittsburg. My mom was there for me showing tuff love, forcing my hand to become who & what I am today. Without her I would be dead, lost, gone, who knows. 

Im saying, before it is too late, if you have someone in your life you love. They may not always be around. Don't put off going and saying hello, or calling to tell them you love them. Do it today!

Next time it might be too late 

The Fence

Stupidity was my middle name, until I decided to change it to endurance. For a while my ([dned]damn near every day) crew consisted of myself, my girl Sonja, & the cuzzins. Dino, Josh, & Dondo. 

We drank somethin fierce. I liked marijuana more, but I was no stranger to E&J. Mostly we chilled in the garage at my moms pad, sometimes we ventured out. 

Dondo & Josh would play "catball", & Dino would just clown. Dondo always had the burner gloves & a radio. Josh always had his house shoes & a beater. Dino, well he always had a cold one. 

Then there was Sonja, she always had a smile, she was my ace. 

We had good times, & bad times, the 5 of us. Drinking till we threw up, or threw water in our own face. Smoking out of the soy sauce bong. And making sure Kheeler made it home safe, even if we left him on his porch in between the screen and the door. Ringing the bell & running. (he STILL came back too)

Im going to tell you about one of the funnier things that happened one night. Dondo RARELY had the house to the neck, so when he did, we were knew we were gonna get FUUUUUCKED up. 

Sonja Josh & I had the task of gathering the beverages for the evening. We were going to meet up with Don & Dino at Grannys. 

Mind you I did a lot of shit back in the day, but that was then, and this is now.

So we planned on a divide & conquer in the local supermarket. None of us had money OR ID. So yes we were about to hit a lick at Raleys. (The now Food Source). I might add that Sonja and I were pretty good at the "five finger discount" thing. Josh was not. He was noticably large & a total eye catcher for any "security". 

So we just acted like we didn't know him, turns out he was just in the mood to grab and go. As he headed to the opposite doors, double fisting two bottles of E&J, he was approached by a stalky blonde. She attempted to "stop" him, Sonja and I seized the opportunity to grab our bottles. We discreetly hid them, as we slinked out the other end of the store. 

Watching this woman try to wrestle with Josh was comedy. He more or less dragged her out the door dropping one of thd bottles to the ground. Hearing the breaking glass, Sonja & I stepped it up to a face paced trot towords the main street, Loverage. 

Granny lived almost behind the store, so as we hit the side walk we slowed a bit. Knowing Josh was just behind us we continued to walk. Seconds later we heard a huffing & puffing, as Josh wizzed past us mumbling that they were comming. 

Not really knowing what to expect, we also began to run. We were only a few blocks from Grannys, so we were safe. When we realized there was no one actually chasing us we calmed down a little, but stayed just behind Josh. 

In front of the house with the garage door open, stood Don & Dino, who had NO clue what was going on. Josh literally hit the fence and jumped over. All we saw were his house shoes in the air, as his belt had gotten caught on the top of the wooden slats. Racing up to the fence Dino & Dondo could not stop laughing. There he was dangling on the other side, curled halfway up. Never letting go of the bottle. 

I miss you cousin, I wish you were here, but I know your laughing right now. Love you Jitty.