Hello

How many of you remember elementry school. I do, I also remember the Indian Trailor. Yes, my mom is Ms. Tafoya. 

I thought it was weird at first, having my mom working around the school, (when it came), but I soon realized how much EVERYONE loved it. 

My mom started off in the Pittsburg Unified School District as a yard duty. We lived two blocks from Foothill Elementry, she was afternoon staff.

I attended Foothill for 6 yeats K-5 grade. I remember every last teacher. Ms. Belleci, Ms.Lee, Ms.Huckabee, Ms. Caruso, Ms. Clawson, & Mr.Rose. 

As the years passed my mom worked all over the school district. From the elementry schools (in the indian trailor), to the High School in opportunity classes. Which I also ended up in. 

From there she found a place at Liberty Union High School District, in Brentwood. 

She started there as a Campus Supervisor, at Liberty High School. After a few years, she became a classefied worker in the deans office. Where she was loved by all of her students & her co workers. She was the advisor for the Azteca club, & recognized by several officials in the district. She worked extra hours chaperoning dances, football games & events. 

My mom loved her role in the lives of her students, and they loved and, trusted her as well. ALWAYS stopping in to say hello.

On October 21, 2013 my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers Dimentia. I share this because she is only in her begining stages. She knows who we are and she can recollect YEARS back, but has trouble with short term memory. If you knew, or know her, dont be afraid to reach out to her. She lives in the same house, in Pittsburg. My mom was there for me showing tuff love, forcing my hand to become who & what I am today. Without her I would be dead, lost, gone, who knows. 

Im saying, before it is too late, if you have someone in your life you love. They may not always be around. Don't put off going and saying hello, or calling to tell them you love them. Do it today!

Next time it might be too late 

The Bandit

I lay awake thinking about this relationship of mine sometimes. I wonder where it will go, what it will bring, & how I have been affected. I see on the outside, it appears good in looks. I know on the inside it is lacking, emotionally. There is no communication, my tolerance for being ignored is becoming overwhelmingly apparent. I am surrounded, but feel alone. I can breathe, but feel smothered. I am depressed. Looking back, I long for the days in which we spoke kindly to each other, & never let another talk down to us. I would have ran a mile just to see him. Now it feels like Im running a mile just to catch up with him, because he’s busy ahead of me. We used to walk side by side, now I fall behind, trying to keep everything else in place, while he jogs ahead, creating space and questions that he does not want to answer. Let me clarify something, every now and then he tries. I see that he gives it that 100 percent we promised each other. I see it now and then, but nothing like before. We pushed every limit together. We got through everything together. He never let me down, and I was always there for him.  So shouldn’t it ALWAYS be 100, I mean if I am giving 100, should he not match me anymore? Wishful thinking maybe, but these are things I have been thinking about most nights now. I am confused and it’s becoming dangerous to my mental health because of the way I still want to love him. 

Where is my goodnight bandit, who sometimes makes it all go away. The stress of the day, the headache of an argument. The sadness of my loneliness. When I hear or see those simple words, (goodnight or good-morning or even hey hows it goin) it means someone else thought of you. That must be hard to do now, because he rarely does anymore, it feels more like it is forced & empty. I feel lost, and sadness keeps me frozen with fear. I keep trying to figure out what happened, where is my friend? He says nothing is wrong and then he gets mad at me. 

I look forward to the days to come, somethings gotta change. Maybe it will be me, but he swears he loves me the way I am, so should I have to change? Does that not mean he never loved me because he now wants somebody different. Help me understand so I can love him the right way, and so he can get back to loving me at all.